Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
