It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
