Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
