It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
