Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
