strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Found the puke drawer
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
