someone threw a dead crab at me
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
