your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
