with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
50% drunk capacity currently
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
