I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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