yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
