Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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