My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
