I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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