He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
