White coat. Heels.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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