sorry about calling you the devil all night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
