My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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