love makes seman taste better
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
