here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
