I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
