apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
