I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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