i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
