you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
