I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
