I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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