You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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