Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
