I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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