is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my being single is dangerous.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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