I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
