Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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