I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
