All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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