Yo dont text me then not text me
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
