Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
