but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
