Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Text me some of your sweat
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
