Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
