Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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