Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
