and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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