At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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