We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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