there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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