I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
