Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
