I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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