you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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