I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
