found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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